Tears
by rocketfire1999
Summary: There are only so many times you can Start Over. warning - character death, mentioned drug use


**After realizing all I could write we're sad stories, I was challenged to try and write fluff.**

**This is not fluff, I will tell you now.**

**You can still review though~**

**Warning - character death, mentioned drug use. High T. like, really high T**

"Roy"

His whole body shook. He didn't even register the soft voice calling to him.

"Roy. _Roy" _

He jumped when a warm arm slipped around his neck, and he looked up.

"N-n-n-o. You-you have to g-go. I c-can't let y-you see me li-li-like this."

He curled up in the corner, still shivering, the toxins in his body and the cold marble floor turning him into a quivering mess. His head throbbed and he couldn't tell which was was up and which way was down anymore.

Why? Why did he have to do this? Didn't he know how hard it was for Dick to come here? See his friend like this? It wasn't easy. He just pushed him away, when all Dick wanted to do was _help_.

Roy put his head between his knees and began to rock backwards and forwards, murmuring nonsense into his legs.

Dick scanned the bathroom floor, seeing the syringe and shutting his eyes. _Why_ was he doing this to himself? Dick shuffled over to the needle and threw it down the sink, fuming. He hated that damn thing. He hated what effect it had on his best friend, the _hold_ it had over him.

"Why do you do this Roy?" Dick asked, shaking his head slowly. He looked down at his hands, waiting for a response he knew he wouldn't get. He never got a response.

Dick clenched his fists, feeling anger swell up inside him.

"Why? Why the hell would you do this to yourself? You're _killing_ yourself! Roy, you'll _die_! How stupid are you? I can't put up with this! For gods sake, Roy, _answer_ me!"

He grabbed Roy's chin to make him look at his face. "_Answer me!" _he demanded. The anger was boiling over the edges, and for a second he was about to hit Roy.

"I want to" Roy whispered. "I can't do this. I want to."

"Want to what?" the second the words came from Dicks mouth he realized. That was what Roy had wanted. That was why he was taking drugs. His anger melted away as he looked into Roy's deep green eyes. He wanted to.

"Die" he murmured, putting his head back between his legs to mumble again.

Dick wondered how he could have been so horrible. Slowly, as if not to startle him, Dick grabbed the older boys chin again. He saw those green eyes glisten with unshed tears, that perfect mouth curved into a frown. Even his red hair had lost its color, limp with depression, disappointment, dishonor.

Dick bit his lip and pulled Roy into a hug. Resting his head on Dicks thick hoodie, Roy finally let out what he had been holding in for so long.

He cried.

He wailed, he sobbed, dampening Dicks chest with each cry, each tear. And Dick just hugged him, holding him tight as though he would never let go, never leave him. Not again. Not ever again.

"Roy... I'm so sorry" Dick whispered.

"It's not your fault," Roy said, choking between his words, "don't ever say its your fault... Or... Or... I'll be really angry with you"

Dick laughed, as tears began to stream down his face.

"If you ever say its your fault... Just don't. You've been like a big brother to me, Dick, and I'm the older one," Roy choked, burying his face further into Dicks jumper. His next words were muffled, but for Dick they rang out loud and clear, echoing in his ears, to be remembered forever.

"I'm sorry Dick. I love you"

Dick cried twice in twenty four hours.

The first time was when Roy had been curled up in his arms, a tight ball of warmth, and the second was when he woke up the next morning, Roy still in his arms, but his body cold and limp.

But both were different. The first time he cried, it was loud, noisy, sobs, while the second, he just leant over Roy's lifeless body, silent tears streaming down his face. And when he walked to Wally's, Roy's figure in his arms, he continued to cry, his tears merely adding to the water that was falling from the sky. It seemed fitting for it to rain, but it wasn't like Dick noticed it. That whole day was a blur. Of tears. He barely remembered seeing Wally open his door and fall to his knees, as Dick stayed standing, holding that body like his life depended on it. Making no noise, except for the occasional deep breath, tears running down his pale cheeks.

He was all cried out for the funeral.

He stood calmly while others broke down around him. He hugged and shook hands with people he didn't even know. People who didn't deserve to be there. People who had always been so horrible to Roy.

He didn't cry that day.

The sun came out, finally.

Dick didn't believe in the afterlife, but he knew this was a message from Roy.

When Dick got up at the lectern, he looked down at the crowd, their eyes red and swollen.

He's the best friend, they whispered. The priest coughed. "What would you like to say to Roy?" he hissed, trying to be quiet, but the whole crowd heard him.

Dick stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat, looking up to the sky. He knew wanted he wanted to say to Roy. He wanted to respond. Just make sure Roy understood that he knew.

"Roy," he said, his face beginning to warm into a smile. He ignored the confused group of people in front of him. He wasn't talking to them. He was talking to someone more important.

"I love you too"


End file.
